Monthly Archives: December 2014

Naked 70% certified

Let us now turn our attention to this tube of moisturizing hand and body lotion. It claims some relationship to pomegranate and honey, which suggests it also might make a good dessert topping. It is called The Naked Bee, presumably a reference to the honey. It is also “70% Certified Organic.”

Seventy percent? Why seventy percent?

70 percent certified organic

If The Naked Bee is 70% certified organic, what is the other 30%?

Possibilities:

  • 70 percent is organic, the rest of it is inorganic.
  • 70 percent is certified organic, the rest is not certified; it could be (horrors!) uncertified.
  • Perhaps the “pomegranate & honey” is a clue: 70 percent is certified organic, 30 percent is certified Kosher?
  • 70 percent is organic, the rest is dark matter.

It also has “All the good stuff, none of the bad stuff.” Chocolate cake? Free-range bison?

Bottom line: can you eat it?

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Definition of a bad day at work

This looks like an unremarkable view of an apartment building in downtown Silver Spring, Maryland:

Apartment building in Silver Spring, Maryland

If you think your day was rough, take a look at this apartment building in Silver Spring, Maryland. In the center of the photograph…

Not obvious: it is snowing. The air temperature is 33 F, and the wind is blowing at 12 MPH. And if you look in the center of the photo you see:

Worse job than you have

In the center of the photo, you see someone having a worse day on the job than yours. Be grateful, both that your day is better and that others are willing to do these jobs.

you see someone who is colder and wetter and probably more miserable than you. So be thankful. And appreciative.

Titles from a strange upbringing

There are many titles I wish I had read; I have bookcases filled with unread and partially read volumes. But here are some that are high on my list:

Untouched by Human Hands: The Last Dangerous Visions, by Robert Sheckley and Harlan Ellison. Ellison’s famous epic struggle to get his last Dangerous Visions anthology out is assisted by Sheckley.

All the Myriad Ways: Of Man and Monsters, Heroes and Horrors, Parsecs and Parables, Nightmares and Geezenstacks, Ice and Iron, Digits and Dastards, Murder and Magic, Ape and Essence, Fancies and Goodnights, Alchemy and Academe, Foundation and Empire, Visions and Ventures, Time and the Stars, by Larry Niven, William Tenn, Fritz Leiber, Robert Silverberg, Fredric Brown, William Tucker, Frederik Pohl, Randall Garrett, Aldous Huxley, John Collier, Anne McCaffrey, Isaac Asimov, Theodore Sturgeon and Poul Anderson. A galaxy and time-spanning story of nouns smashed together into subjects.

“Repent, Harlequin!” Said the Ticktockman, Or All the Seas With Oysters, formed of Mist, and Grass, and Sand, and ruled by the Queen of Air and Darkness, will carry you Adrift Just Off the Islets of Langerhans: Latitude 38º54’N, Longitude 77º00’13″W, where you may watch The Dance of the Changer and the Three, and learn that Love is the Plan the Plan is Death, and that The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas must confront The Doors of His Face, the Lamps of His Mouth, never to discover that Time Considered as a Helix of Semi-Precious Stones is the Good News from the Vatican, by Harlan Ellison, Avram Davidson, Vonda N. McIntyre, Poul Anderson, Terry Carr, James Tiptree Jr., Usula K. LeGuin, Roger Zelazny, Samuel R. Delany, and Robert Silverberg. This surprisingly thin science fiction-fantasy mix is essentially a fleshed-out expansion of the title.