Tag Archives: organic

Adventures in grocery shopping

In the old days, all shopping was organic. You went to the store and got flour and beans and other dry goods in 25 or 50 pound sacks, got fruits and vegetables in baskets or bushels, and then went home and spent all day washing, soaking, peeling, and otherwise preparing the organic food to be consumed by organic people.

Today, we have prepared foods, designed to reduce the pain and suffering of shopping. Sometimes.

According to legend, I am allergic to nuts. I have no knowledge or memory of this, but allegedly I once consumed three of my favorite nuts, stopped breathing and passed out.

Second important fact: I like brownies. Put these two facts together, and I think Giant Foods is trying to kill me:

Deadly brownies on sale at Giant Foods.

Deadly brownies on sale at Giant Foods. Or possibly nutty signage.

On the other hand, the mislabeled poisonous brownies cost the same as the non-deadly versions.

In other news, I discovered Giant also sells milk from condensed goats. Condensed goats are perfect for an urban area. In scientific terms, I suppose they have a reduced x-height and are more tightly kerned (and possibly churned):

Condensed goats, perfect for urban living

Condensed goats, perfect for urban living. Gourmet, even.

Gourmet taste, no less. And apparently organic, though I’ve never heard of an inorganic goat.

Finally, I found a possible cause for Frank Herbert’s Butlerian Jihad, mentioned in his Dune novels:

Where will you find Erewhon cereal?

This either caused Herbert's Butlerian Jihad in "Dune" or a novel approach to utopia.

Or maybe that was Samuel Butler. In any event, nowhere around here. But organic.

All natural organic citrus aloe vera

In our quest to get back to nature and a highly processed, untouched-by-human-hands world, we offer this:

Organic natural pure citrus aloe vera soap

Organic natural pure citrus aloe vera soap body bar in a somewhat less than organic plastic wrapper. Photo by Lawrence I. Charters

The collection of words on the packaging makes no sense, beyond an obvious, overly anxious attempt to seem hip and “natural.” If the soap were “pure citrus,” it would be an orange or grapefruit. And if it were purely citrus, it could not include aloe vera.

The typography is also suspect, with everything in ALL CAPS except “Body Bar” and “formulated with.”

While on the subject of hotel soaps (this was found in a hotel), why is the soap always encased in some wrapping that defies all attempts to remove it, especially if your hands are wet? Most normal people, when washing their hands (or other parts of their body), get their hands wet, first, and then reach for the soap. And if the soap is contained in a wrapper that meets MIL SPEC regulations for ballistic armor, and cannot be removed with anything less than tools normally found in the garage, how is one to wash with the soap?

Perhaps you are supposed to wash with the wrapper, and leave the pure citrusy organic stuff alone.